The Immortality Project
Or a necessary and basic dishonesty about oneself and one’s whole situation
The more you go on in life, the more you start to think what your end game is.
For a good part of my life, I thought mine was to “live a comfortable life,” succeed in academics and work, and generally abide to a self-projection I had formulated in my mind which incorporated goals the society I was born into deemed as acceptable.
However, the more I experienced life, the more it became hard to reconcile my existential dread with the will to be productive, and the realization that no matter what I do in life, nothing will ever dispel my nihilist view of the world.
Coming to terms with the fact that we are absolutely, without question going to die, and then to live with a full awareness of that fact, is something that I have struggled with for quite some time, and I still do to some extent.
At one point, it became clear to me how “cracking the game” or achieving “financial independence” are just trifle pursuits in the grand scheme of things. I resolved that us human beings really need to find something, a mission, a goal, to help us make sense of a world that is decidedly simpler and more careless than what our overdeveloped brain circuits make us believe.
