Dialogue Between a Happiness Seller and a Passerby
or how self-help writers killed Stoicism
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Happiness seller (HS): “Happiness! Happiness for everyone! Buy the new manual on how to become a better man and finally conquer happiness! Full of practical advice by the noblest stoic minds to make you a better person for the new year! Results guaranteed!”
Passerby (P): “Happiness precepts for the New Year?”
HS: “Yes sir! The best you can find. The manual contains a step-by-step guide on how to be happy and is full of stoic precepts you can use with people to appear more sophisticated!”
The passerby frowned, while the happiness seller kept shouting at the crowds flocking into the streets as the morning broke.
HS: “Losing weight? Making more money? Finding the love of your life? Whatever your goal is, we can help! Buy the happiness manual now!”
P: “How can you make so many things possible?”
HS: “Our proprietary happiness formula, Sir! When you use it, breakthroughs will come. You will experience faster results than ever. You will succeed at work, climbing the ranks in your career, making more money, and generating more wealth and power. Not only that, but you will have more energy and greater health; you will be happier; and most importantly, you’ll have more freedom and time to give to your family, friends, and hobbies.”
P: “The formula?”
HS: “The formula has its origins in a far corner of the ancient Roman Empire, where a wise man contemplated the true meaning of a good life. His name was Epictetus and he was a teacher of an influential philosophy known as Stoicism. Stoicism concerns itself with what it means to lead a good, moral, and productive life. This school of thought, and Epictetus himself, is over 2,000 years old, but the message behind it is timeless and universal. It speaks to anyone who struggles to find happiness in life!”
P: “Were the Stoics seeking the same things we do today then?”
HS: “….oh, absolutely Sir! Wealth, Power, Love!”
P: “Is there also any advice on how to appease my existential anxiety in your manual?”
HS: “Yes, Sir! Epictetus recognized that our insecurities towards external situations create an abundance of unhappiness. What upsets us, he said, are not things themselves but rather our judgments about those things. This is a common problem today. We spend too much time and energy comparing ourselves to others, which leads to pain and frustration…”
P: “You didn’t answer my question…?”
The Happiness seller kept handing manuals to herds of people and collecting the coins that he promptly put in a pocket of his jacket.
HS: “Pardon, Sir, what did you ask me again?”
P: “I asked whether the manual comes with advice on how to treat my existential anxiety?”
HS: “For Epictetus, the solution was to focus on how you live your own life and spend your time. Born a slave, he rose to be a respected philosopher by following his formula. He teaches us to create boundaries, to eliminate envy and temptation, and to concentrate on what is right and meaningful for your best life.”
HS: “But what about my anxiety concerning the aftermath?”
P: “oh, ah!
He fished in his pocket for a piece of paper from which he read: “it will all be over soon. Everything, both good and bad, comes to an end. I must enjoy the good while it lasts, and persevere through the bad until I have beaten it. Does that answer your question sir?”
P: “Mmm, well, “Remember you have to die,” Heidegger said after all..”
HS: “..who?..”
P: “Never mind..”
HS: “Sir, our formula is trusted by thousands of productive people! We will help you make the most out of your day, because the scripted day is the best day. And the best day leads to a great life. And a great life ensures a lasting legacy!”
A light drizzle had started to fall. The passerby reached for some coins in his satchel and handed them to the happiness seller.
P: “Here are thirty soldi.”
HS: “Thank you Sir. Good day, Sir. Happiness! Happiness manual for the new year!”
As he walked towards home, the passerby reflected about how he wasn’t preoccupied by the thought of leaving a legacy, for he, just like Seneca, Marcus Aurelius or Epictetus, had accepted the fact that he was ultimately going to become ashes and be forgotten by the world, and so those that were going to come after him.
“The biggest mistake that many of those self-proclaimed self-improvement gurus make,” he thought, “is to fail to understand that Stoics couldn’t care less about leaving a legacy! They were fine with the prospect of dying, becoming ashes and ultimately being forgotten by the universe, whereas these self-improvement magicians try to sell you on the idea that their book will make you leave a mark, a legacy as they call it, so that your name will last past your death, appeasing the existential anxiety of knowing that in the grand scheme of things we are nothing!”
Marcus Aurelius: “Then consider the speed with which oblivion embraces all things; the abyss of infinite time, before and after; the vanity of fame, the inconstancy and lightness of those who have the air of applauding you; the narrow space in which your fame is confined.”
He reflected about how stoicism had been banalized.
“Everyone is a Stoic these days,” he thought. “Some, just like that seller, have even built their business exploiting the allure of stoicism, selling their self-improvement guides by just rephrasing stoic precepts or quoting maxims of roman stoic figures at the beginning of their chapters. They treat stoicism as an Aspirin, you take it for a bit of everything. It’s fast and easy to digest. Stoicism has been abused, banalized, when in fact it is far from banal! Its profoundness stems exactly from this ability to deliver existential messages in a straightforward manner. But from this also comes Stoicism’s “guilt”: its simplicity makes it so that it can more easily be juxtaposed to the self-improvement trend of the past 20 years, and in so doing its pure, straightforward precepts are mixed with the post-capitalistic ideal of the American Ubermensch, the corporate king who maximizes every single minute of his day!”
Seneca: “Similarly, too rich a soil makes the grain fall flat, branches break down under too heavy a load, excessive productiveness does not bring fruit to ripeness.”
The drizzle had turned into a heavy rain, and the passerby opened his umbrella as he approached the doorsteps of his brownstone building.
“Stoicism is fascinating because it tells us what we want to hear, that is, you have all the right to be happy with who you are. It convinces you to accept reality, that life doesn’t need to be glamorous, that you can redeem your past and toss that self-projection of you in the future to concentrate on the present. It helps to rationalize what didn’t happen. Self-improvement guides strive for greatness, Stoicism strives for the ordinary. The former craves to have it all — wealth, love, power — whereas Stoicism craves nothing. Self-help books are self-aggrandizing celebrations of the American dream, Stoicism is a gem that should be preserved and protected from the barbarians of philosophy.”
Seneca: “Freedom comes, not to him over whom Fortune has slight power, but to him over whom she has no power at all. This is what I mean: you must crave nothing, if you would vie with Jupiter; for Jupiter craves nothing.”
The passerby was finally at his house. He closed his umbrella and shook it off before entering the place. He ensconced himself on a brown couch next to the fireplace. It could see the heavy rain coming down from the big windows of the living room. The cover of the manual had gotten wet. It read: “Happiness Manual of the Stoic Man.” He poured himself a little whiskey, closed his eyes, and fell into a light sleep.
These reflections are just the beginning of a much larger conversation. If you’re interested in exploring these ideas further, I’d love to hear your thoughts — schedule a call with me here.
